Do we reap what we sow?

I have been looking back over earlier blogs and through my journal as I prepare to write my essay and I came across some notes I had made to post a comment re motivation. This was when my PC had it’s virus and I must have overlooked this particular blog when I was back on line and I didn’t post it at the time.

It followed a comment Alan Durrant made on Ross’ blog about critical reflection and considering the theories of Cooperation and Affiliation, what motivates us to help others………….. so a bit late but an interesting concept so I thought I’d post it now!!

Nicholas Norman had commented that people help each other “to give back and repeat the cycle of someone who once gave to them!” I think this is very true but I think it goes much deeper beyond the concept that individuals don’t share knowledge and experience because they fear the competition from others and only help those less experienced than themselves. I think most of us instinctively have a desire to help others as it makes us feel good about ourselves.

I researched further and found an interesting article, “Born to be good? What motivates us to be good, bad or indifferent towards others?” by Celia Kitzinger, who investigates the psychology of morality.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0JQP/is_289/ai_30027760/

Kitzinger says that, “most of us, most of the time act to benefit others, ie small kindnesses of everyday life like holding a door open, sharing food or expressing compassion for others in distress. Things that are so ordinary we take them for granted.”

We all see evidence all the time of people helping and caring for sick relatives or they give money to famine relief, Children in Need etc, or they do voluntary work for charities or hospitals. A lot of this can be as Norman says “to give back” because they have been personally touched by a certain event, ie; a loved one who was cared for by a particular organisation may in return raise money for that cause.

Psychologists describe this as being “pro-social” animals. “Why do people spend time, money and effort on others when they could keep it for themselves?” Kitzinger argues that self interest lies at the root of all socially “moral” behaviour and we are biologically driven to improve the survival of our genes instinctively,  ie by caring for our families, such as a mother bird will put her own life at risk for her chicks.

She argues that helping people who are not genetically related to us can also be in the best interests of our genes as it sets up the expectation that we will be helped in return. Normally altruism is reciprocal and we do things for someone expecting we will get something back.

An old saying my Grandma often used rings true of this concept and puts it into layman’s terms, “We reap what we sow”. I think often this is true if you are a person who is prepared to share and help others, you are soon known as that type of person and people will share things with you. If you are selfish and don’t share then people won’t share with you and in the end you will lose out, both socially and professionally.

It is the rewards that we get from helping others which serve our self interest, eg; the praise of onlookers, gratitude from the person being helped, the feeling we experience when we know we have done something good and the benefit of avoiding guilt and shame. It is our moral development from childhood that motivates our behaviour and gives us the ability to imagine ourselves in the place of another and to feel their emotions and this then triggers our behaviour. I don’t know if there is a scoreboard in the sky keeping track but I strongly believe in returning favours for people who have helped you!

In the context of our professional practice I think it is important to establish relationships with others who share similar interests and develop contacts where you can share information and experiences with each other. There will always be a natural rivalry and competitiveness amongst professionals but there is also the human instinct where we group together as comrades to help one another and an instinct to feel that we belong. I think the holding back of information is futile in the end as it is always available from another source and if someone does have a selfish attitude then they will soon not have many contacts socially or as  a professional. If you are a good “networker” you will give favours and receive them in return.  Most people feel guilty and indebted to return a favour and this clears the way for a whole new round of give and take -   as my Grandma puts it, “you have to reap to sow !!!”